


Words

by Castiel_Left_His_Mark_On_Me



Series: Destiel/ Cockles Shorts [23]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Confusion, Danneel is awesome, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Misha freaks out a bit, Multi, POV Misha, Secret Relationship, cockles ring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 07:39:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9809675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castiel_Left_His_Mark_On_Me/pseuds/Castiel_Left_His_Mark_On_Me
Summary: Misha isn't really sure what they are, but he's sure he wants to find out ... now if he could only just grow the balls to ask!





	

**Author's Note:**

> I got an anonymous ask on Tumblr, wanting me to write a fic about the Cockles ring ... so, I did. Well, I did an interpretation of it. I hope you all enjoy; and ... happy birthday, whoever you are!

* * *

 

* * *

 

They never really talk about it.

Even after the first time it happened, Misha _wanted to_ —but as soon as he saw Jensen on set the next day, he froze. And maybe he would’ve been more inclined to say something to him, if the man had actually acted weird—if he’d pushed Misha away or given him the silent treatment; but he didn’t. Jensen acted a hundred percent _normal_.

As soon as he saw him, he patted Misha on the back, told him “Good morning”, handed him a cup of tea and then walked off to the make-up trailer. It was almost as if the night before, never even happened—so Misha assumed that that’s the way Jensen wanted it. He wanted to forget it all, pretend everything was the same while _praying to God_ that Misha wouldn’t mess up the illusion for him … so Misha didn’t.

He pretended too.

And soon enough, it all felt like some sort of weird fever dream. Hazy around the edges, but still grounded with memories of _touch_ and _smell,_ and the sensation of someone else’s tongue running across his lips. It was fine. _He_ would be fine. He rationalized it to himself over and over; it was just an odd moment between friends. He’s had plenty of those while growing up— with Darius, mostly ... but those are something he's used to, so this shouldn't throw him in the least.

Misha could deal.

Vicki didn’t think so… but he totally _could_ deal. It didn’t have to mean anything. It was just a fun, one-time thing that two, crazy friends did together and then moved on from.

_Totally fine._

Misha could be okay with anything as long as Jensen was still his friend.

And Jensen was.

And the odd moment continued to fade into the past … until the day that it didn’t.

It came rushing back with a knock on his trailer door.

 

“Hey, Mish … was hopin’ we could …” Jensen’s cheeks reddened—but his eyes were focused, and anything but shy.

And Misha would’ve talked about it right then and there … asked Jensen “Why now? Why didn’t you say anything after the last time? What does this mean?” but he chose instead to pull the man inside and use his mouth for more _productive_ things.

 

But just like before, Misha woke up alone the next day—and also just like before, Jensen acted normal. Giddy even. He seemed content and upbeat … so much so, that even Jared noticed.

“What’s gotten into you?” Jared had asked, the moment Jensen literally _skipped_ across the set to tackle him in a hug.

But Jensen just shrugged, tossed Misha a wink and then smacked Jared on the ass before dancing away to talk to someone else about some of the props they were going to use that day.

Jared quickly turned to Misha, looking slightly scared and questioning—and Misha returned the look, because he had no fucking clue what was going on.

 

And he continued _not knowing_ for over a week … until the next time it happened.

Jensen had just spent the last hour celebrating his engagement to Danneel … something that Misha was _sure_ meant the end to their odd, post-filming trysts.

But then everyone else finished their drinks and left—except for Jensen. And the next thing Misha knew, he was waking up alone again, hungover and sore from holding Jensen against a wall for the better part of the night.

 

They _really, really_ needed to talk about it.

***

 

“I like this” Misha whispers, lightly touching the ring on Jensen’s middle finger. “Where’d you get it?”

Jensen looks away from the menu a moment, smiling at Misha first, and then down at his own hand. “Place back home. Some metal shop that makes all sorts of things.  Machine parts—car parts, sculptures and weird shit. They had some rings in a bowl near the register and I liked _this one,_ so I bought it.” Jensen punctuates his sentence with a shrug and another sip of his coffee.

“I love those kinds of places” Misha says, quietly smiling over the fact that Jensen seems to like them too. Just another thing on a long list of stuff that they have in common … a list that Misha has been compiling for the last year that he’s known the man.

“Yeah. Although, I suppose I’ll need to find something a bit pricier now.”

Misha squints a little, glancing at the man with a confused smirk. “What do you mean?”

Jensen just laughs and sets down the menu. “Well, I don’t think Dani wants me wearing _this_ old thing as my wedding ring.”

Misha’s smile fails a moment. “Yeah … probably not.”

But Jensen doesn’t seem to notice, only continuing to quietly chuckle before looking Misha up and down as he sits next to him in the booth. “You and Vicki are invited, ya know … to the wedding? We’d love to have you there.”

Misha does his best to perk up, not even sure why he’s feeling so low in the first place. “Of course … even if we _weren’t_ invited, we’d show up and crash it.”

Jensen laughs too hard at that. “Oh, man—I bet you would!” he bursts, slapping Misha’s thigh a few times as he settles … but once he does, he doesn’t pull his hand away.

The waitress suddenly appears to take their order— and Misha almost forgets what he was going to get; but thankfully Jensen jumps in and fills in the blanks … surprising Misha even more that he knows what he wants.

The waitress smiles at them both and then walks off, leaving the two alone once again.

 _Jensen_ —with his hand _still_ on Misha’s thigh; and _Misha_ —choking on all the questions that he has, because their very presence makes him forget how to breathe.

“So, did you hear about Michael Jackson dying? Crazy right?”

Misha is somehow able to find his breath again, just as Jensen finally pulls his hand away. “Wh-what? Oh … _yeah._ It was pretty—uh—unexpected.”

The other man whistles in agreement before guzzling down the last of his coffee, quickly raising his hand to signal the waitress to bring him some more. “Yeah … he was a weird guy, but he was like a staple, ya know?”

Misha nods and looks down at his orange juice; and just like that, another chance to talk passed him by.

***

It happened again.

Last night, Jensen showed up at his trailer—completely sound. Happy. In good spirits, talking about wedding cake samplers and the Armageddon-arc that was kicking all of their asses—scooting a little closer to Misha with each word he spoke, until he was speaking them directly onto Misha’s tongue.

“Jensen … _wait_.” He was going to do it— _he was_. He built up the courage and told his eager dick to calm to fuck down ... he was finally going to ask Jensen what the hell they were doing, because the last time he checked—the guy was a _down-home, Texan, Son-o-Jesus,_ and he was about to get married to a gorgeous, clever, hilarious young woman; and none of what _they_ were doing made _any sense_ being mixed into the same bowl as all that wholesome-American-apple pie-goodness.

But then Jensen frowned a little, pulled back and ran his hand through Misha’s hair. “What’s wrong, Mish?” he asked, sounding so genuinely concerned and worried, that it broke Misha’s heart.

“I … _well_ …” he mumbled, before promptly chickening out yet again. “Nothing” he whispered at last, lunging forward and pushing Jensen back onto the couch.

So the other man just laughed happily and hugged Misha close; which at least—for the moment, made Misha _not_ regret not asking ... _this time._

Jensen was happy, and that’s all that mattered.

 

Well … that was true until he woke up the next morning.

 _Alone_.

Alone, except for a note and something else resting on the pillow beside him.

“You said you liked it.” – that was all that was written on the torn-off corner of the latest episode’s script, pinned down by the ring the was usually at home on Jensen’s middle finger.

“What the ... _fuck._ I so should’ve asked!” Misha grumbles miserably, picking up the ring after a few more seconds of contemplation. He looks it over for a long time, finally falling back onto his own pillow with the weight of all this confusion. “What the hell is he trying to do to me?” he asks his trailer ceiling, but it does nothing for him accept keep the morning sun out of his eyes.  

A knock on his door eventually pulls him out of his own head, and out of bed—and he’s soon telling a PA that he’ll be ready for make-up in ten; but before he leaves his trailer, after he’s run through a quick shower and pulled on last night’s jeans, he looks down at the rings sitting on his dresser—one, his wedding ring, and the other, the one from Jensen.

With a sigh, and no time to talk himself out of it—he slips them _both_ onto his finger before slipping on out the door.

***

 _“Huh—_ that looks just like Jackles’s ring” Jared muttered, not even two minutes into Misha showing up on set.

“Oh … yeah … well ...” Misha blanks on what else to add to that meager attempt at a sentence.

“That’s ‘cause it _is_ mine.”

And Misha almost faints with the sound of Jensen suddenly behind him.

But Jared just laughs. “Wow … didn’t see that one comin’.”

“What do ya mean?” Jensen steps in closer, having just come back from picking up his pages.

“I knew that you were gonna pop the question to _Dani_ , but you didn’t tell me that you were askin’ Misha, too. Honestly, I feel kinda left out.”

Jensen just grins and shakes his head before looking over at Misha … and then down at Misha’s hand, stilling the second he sees _which_ finger the ring is on.

“I … it uh …” Misha is struggling for _something_ here, but he honestly has now clue, _what_.

Jensen cocks his head to the side a little, quirking up with a crooked smile a moment later.

“So, are you guys engaged now too?” Jared butts in, slapping Jensen on the back— seemingly chomping at the bit to start in on some of his jokes—one of the _million_ bad jokes that _everyone_ knows the guy has … he just needs a reason to use them.

“It … uh … it didn’t …” Misha is still trying to form a thought, some kind of explanation for the both of them; because he’s sure Jensen is wondering _why the hell_ Misha would wear his gift on his _ring finger_ , right above his own wedding ring … and he’s even _more_ sure that the guy is feeling uncomfortable _as fuck_ fo _r_ having to explain any of this to Jared.

Misha _needs_ to work this through—help Jensen out, but that damn _talking-thing_ just never seems to function when he needs it to.

But then, Jensen chirps.  “What can I say, man …” he starts, grinning wide as he turns and gives Jared a playful punch in the chest, “I’m full of surprises.” Then— he laughs, and shakes his head one more time before blissfully walking away, leaving the other two in a thoughtful daze behind him.

Jared finally snorts. “What the hell does he mean by that?” he asks, sounding slightly disappointed while turning his gaze back on Misha.

And if Misha had any fucking clue himself, he’d gladly give the man an answer.

***

Danneel had come to set with Jensen, and the two have been walking around, looking beautiful and in love just about every second that they weren’t filming.

_It was adorable,_

And Misha was going absolutely insane because of it.

He felt like he was lying to the woman, and to everyone else. He asked Vicki what he should do, and she said just to act normal. There would be an opportunity to get Jensen alone and talk to him about things eventually—and with Danneel there, Misha might actually be able to control himself for once.

She was probably right … he didn’t really feel like jumping Jensen’s bones after seeing the man hold the beautiful hand of his flawless fiancé.

He could do this, he could _finally_ do this … he just needed to find the time.

***

“So, you two have gotten a lot _closer_ since the last time I saw you” Danneel laughs, nodding towards Misha and Jensen, just as Jensen sits next to him on the couch.

The couple had invited Misha out to dinner, so they met at Jensen's condo— which seemed like a bad idea to start out with, because Misha wasn’t sure how long he could keep this up; but now that even _Danneel_ is noticing something’s strange, he might just lose it completely. “Wh—what?”

The woman chuckles again. “You seem a lot more comfortable with each other now. I’m glad … when you guys first met, Jensen just called me saying that the new guy was ‘a real trip’. I thought he was just being judgy ... but then when I met you, I knew he meant it in a good way. So, it makes me happy to see you two are close now. He needs more friends than just Jared … they’re more married than we’ll ever be.”

Jensen rolls his eyes before scooting in awkwardly close to Misha’s side. “Shush, woman! Don’t talk about my husband that way!”

Danneel only rolls her eyes too, before leaning back in her seat and stretching her long, tan legs up onto the ottoman. “Yeah, yeah … _sorry._ I know you think Jared's prettier than me, anyway.”

 _“Doubtful”_ Misha blurts with a snort, blushing the second he realizes—he said that out loud.

“Oh … you just keep getting better!” Danneel giggles, pointing at Misha and then giving him a hearty thumbs up. “You should marry _him,_ instead! He calls me pretty.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. He’s certainly easier to make out with … Jared’s too tall” Jensen adds on, joining his fiancé in a laugh and eventually draping his arm around Misha’s shoulders. “And who could resist those eyes?” he finishes, finally looking over to his right and staring Misha down—humor dripping away from the corners of his mouth.

Misha tries to chuckle too, but his efforts are cut short when Jensen leans in swiftly and pecks him on the lips.

Misha is upright within seconds. “ _What’re you doing?_ ” he yelps, looking panicked—back and forth between Jensen, and Jensen's now, very concerned-looking fiancé.

“Wh- what are you—” Jensen garbles, leaning forward and throwing out a concerned little gesture.

“I … _Danneel,_ I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t … _I never thought_ … _this_ ... we’ll stop. We’ll stop this. I promise, you won’t have to worry about me getting in the way of your marriage. I just …”

“Mish … _dude_ …” Jensen hisses, now looking panicked too.

And Misha freezes, thinking back now on the kiss that they just shared … it was only a peck. So quick, anyone could’ve missed it. Honestly, it was a _joke_ of a kiss … _a joke_. That’s probably all it was, all it was meant to be. _Fuck!_ Misha just outed them over a fucking, stupid, meant-nothing _joke_! “Shit … oh god! I’m messing everything up! I didn’t … _ah!”_ He spins around and runs his hands through his hair. “I hate secrets! Fuck! Jensen, we should’ve talked about all this so much earlier, because I _hate_ _fucking secrets!_ They ruin everything!” Misha turns one last time, glaring his friend down, feeling both angry and heartbroken, because he knows he’s just as much to blame for all of this, but he feels like _he_ at least tried. “I’m sorry …” he mutters again, suddenly wanting to rush out the door and throw up in the bushes. “I’m sorry for everything.” Before he bolts, however, Misha forces himself to glance over at Danneel—knowing that the least he could do is look the woman in the eyes and acknowledge that what he’s done _is wrong_. “I’m just … so _sorry_.” But just as he goes to grab his coat and walk out the door, Jensen stands in front of him _—_ stopping him with steady hands on his shoulders, just before moving those steady hands up to cup Misha’s face.

 _“Mish—buddy,_ will ya calm down? You’re freaking out!” he chuckles, but his eyes are full of concern.

Misha can hardly believe the gentle way that Jensen is holding him, unsure how the guy could be so bold in front of Danneel. "Jensen ..." he warns, trying to pull away, but his friend won't let him go. 

“I’ll … I’ll leave you two alone … you both obviously need to talk” Danneel chimes in from behind them; and Misha hears her pull herself up from the chair before walking around the other side of the couch—running her fingers along Jensen’s shoulders as she carries on into their bedroom.

Now, Misha can only be still and gape at their exchange, because it’s not _angry,_ and it’s not _hurt—_ and it’s certainly not _broken_ , like he was so certain it would be.

Jensen smiles over his shoulder at her, but as soon as he hears the bedroom door close, his face sobers again and he sets his eyes back on Misha. “What’s going on with you?”

Misha—as always, is at a loss. “I … uh …”

“And what did you mean by _keeping secrets?_ _What_ secrets?”

 _That_ makes his eyes widen. The sheer lunacy of his friend’s words wash over him in a flood. “What do you mean, what do _I_ mean? _Us!_ Us, Jensen! This whole, weird, song and dance that we’ve been doing over the last year! You never seem to want to talk about it, but then you keep showing up at my trailer … wanting to fool around … leaving me rings? But you always leave before I wake up and you _never-want-to talk about it!_ I can’t live like that! And _now_ you’re engaged to Danneel! And it just feels like you don’t care that this could hurt her! But _I do!_ I do care! I don’t enjoy hurting people, Jensen! It’s not my idea of a good time!” Misha’s chest heaves on the wake of his rant, and at some point during it—Jensen’s hands had fallen away, allowing the man to step back, but Misha can’t recall when that happened. All he knows is that, now—the guy it staring at him like he’s got a care bear tattooed across his face. But that only makes Misha angrier. _“Well_ … are you going to say anything? Or are you still trying to get away with acting like none of this is happening?”

Jensen can only seem to squint at him. “I … I just …”

“Yeah? You just, _what?_ ”

Jensen shakes his head, finally sighing before looking up at the ceiling. “I just … I _can’t believe_ this shit!”

Misha nods, feeling the same way, but surprised that they're now actually agreeing. “I know … _it’s not fun_ , but it’s the predicament we’re in.”

But that just makes Jensen laugh. “No, you dumbass! I can’t believe _you!_ ”

And now, Misha can only gawk. “Wait … _what?_ ”

“Seriously, man? You think … you think I was keeping this all _a secret?_ ” Jensen asks, stepping forward with his hands gliding up to rest on his hips.

“I … uh …” Misha wants to say _yes_ , but he suddenly has the sinking feeling like that’s the exact _wrong_ thing to say.

“I’m not keeping _anything_ a secret! Not from Danneel, not from anyone! And I didn’t think _you_ were either.”

Misha droops before shaking his head, closing his eyes while trying to make sense of all this. “But … I …”

“And, you say that I wasn’t _talking_ about it? Well, how the hell was I supposed to know there was anything _to talk about?_ You didn’t act like anything was wrong!” The other man then turns on his heels and paces back and forth in front of the couch. _“Here,_ I thought we were good this whole time … I thought that I had a solid boyfriend for almost a year!" Jensen scoffs towards the other side of the room. "Fuck, I even gave you a ring … but you thought I was just ' _fooling around'?_ ”

“I _told you_ you were bad at communicating!” Danneel's muffled words come singing from down the hall, and it makes Jensen stop mid-pace.

“Woman! Stop eavesdropping!”

“Stop sucking at being a boyfriend!” she hollers back, and _that_ succeeds in making Jensen laugh, in spite of his obvious frustration.

And after another moment, the man finally sighs. _“Welp—she’s right,_ as usual. I guess I _have_ been kinda crap at this whole thing.”

Misha’s mouth is still hanging open, and he still hasn’t moved an inch, too befuddled to even think anymore.

“I’m sorry, Mish” Jensen eventually whispers, rounding back so that he can stand in front of Misha once more. Soon, his hands are back, cupping Misha's face and stroking his cheeks with the pads of thumbs, and those green eyes are looking deeply into his, and his words are soft and sweet and so very concerned, that it breaks Misha’s heart all over again. “I guess ... I just thought that since you seemed cool, we didn’t have to talk about anything. I thought … I thought it was all just kinda effortless and easy. Or maybe, I was just _hoping_ it would be … either way, I fucked up. I should have shared what was in my head … _sorry.”_

Misha knows that this is the point that he should talk, but the blanks keep on choking him up.

“But—” Jensen continues, letting him off this very high hook, “just so we’re clear … I _never_ wanted to leave you in the mornings, I just have an earlier call-time that you do. Plus, I like to make sure your tea is ready for you when you get there … makes me feel useful.” The man’s hands then glide down Misha’s neck, lower and lower, until they slip over his arms and on to his hands, soon twisting their fingers together so that Jensen can pull him in close. “Also … I really like that you wear my ring. Kinda makes me feel like you’re proud to have me.”

“I … I am” Misha finally manages to choke out, leaving his mouth dry, but his heart—mended and better than ever.

“Yeah?” Jensen asks, grinning so wide and beautiful, it could catch the world on fire.

“Will you two just kiss and make up, already? I want to get something to eat before I'm old and less pretty than Jared!” Danneel hollers again from the bedroom, sounding more annoyed by her self-appointed exile than her raging hunger.

And it all makes Jensen toss his head back with a laugh, just before winding back down to kiss Misha once again, longer than before, no fooling around this time—hands still clasped with his—fingers grazing across those rings—and words … not seeming very important at all anymore

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr at [castiel-left-his-mark-on-me.](http://castiel-left-his-mark-on-me.tumblr.com)
> 
> Check out the rest of my Ao3 for more Cockles and Destiel fluff, angst and smut.


End file.
